I don't remember exactly my birth, it must have been beautiful!
I was immersed in an infinite pool of distant black light. It was impossible to see a thing around me, devoid of any senses, I was waiting for someone or something to show me the way.
Nervous painful moments ticked by ... I could hear faded screams of anticipation around me.

Colorful winged butterflies flew inside my small stomach as sudden simmering white light emerged inside out of nowhere and filled my blind eyes. It was the brightest ray I had ever seen!
A faded figure appeared from among the white light and placed his hand over my head ...
Everything turned blue, it was impossible to open my eyes. There was a heavy bustle inside my head driving away the white light inside my infant body. I felt immense pain between my eyes, it was unbearable!
He picked me in his loving hands and whispered in my ears :

"See you soon son, enjoy your ride back home..."

Darkness took all over again as I opened my eyes. I began to cry aloud as I was welcomed by congratulating masked faces, wearing white suits and holding my naked body by my legs. They said I was a normal healthy boy.



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Remember that night ? Being surrounded halfway with stars, millions of them : the warmth and laughter, journeying through deserted streets of the wonderland frequented by only relieved spirits. Something told me I needed to close my eyes to see what I really wanted to.
And then I saw it ...

There is a fine line between agnosticism and atheism. 
No, religion is just an excuse to be a believer. Yes, I didn't give a fuck about being one. Things did change that night.
For a believer, the biggest fear is the day 'miracles' stop happening for him. You mustn't stop believing in yourself. 'Forks' always emerge in front of you, its your choice to select what to align for yourself. For, its you who is going to ride till the end where all is one, and one is all.
Disillusioned thoughts result in a confused life. You end up picking and doing things without realizing where the idea originated in your head the first place ?

Illuminated by love and peace, I was mislead to build thoughts what they wanted to. I forgot about the child that resided within me. Energy and vibration created everything around me. I was blessed with the power to feel the emanating light from every creation of nature - so were YOU.
It is difficult , real difficult when you are surrounded with 'animated' human creations, rules, regulations, expectations, boundaries and differences of all kinds.
Oneness, unity, singularity , all for one, one for all - is difficult to comprehend.

The universe was the creator of my soul. I have to find the meaning of his creation.

Lost in a path of wilderness , blinded by parameters , burdened by expectations, earmarked unfit for the society - I came back to meet myself.
It was a confrontation , a judgement , a shattering of my beliefs, an overcharge of emotions, an opening of the forgotten path , an experience , a journey so beautiful .

Oh it was the longest sigh ever !



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The teddies were dancing merrily all around, stones were rolling in the wonderland as Alice closed his eyes and tried to focus the energy bestowed to him by the universe at the exact epicenter between his forehead.
Trying to imagine a passage on to another dimension unknown even by the wise men praised by the monkeys around him. His tongue by now was dried. He felt warm inside his chest, while the tips of his finger were cold and numb trying to match the pace of loud vibrations inside his musical mind. Oh! the splendid view he saw in the wonderland. It was nothing as he would have ever imagined.
He heaved a long breath and regained his focus.
Its funny how one's imagination can make him stumble into a different chapter of the story he was once the creator of. Sparks began emanating from rings of light circling his eyes. A bright flame originated from the epicenter of the rings and with each musical note playing inside his head, the luminosity of the flame grew even brighter to the extent it coaxed Alice to trace the source of  the illumination.
Ferreting can be severely intense. At times the energy consumed by the soul in finding the answer to the question it had been searching for - travelling from one dimension to another, changing shapes and taking forms of meaningless liquid-bodies held together by pieces of calcium and covered by layers of cells can be immense.
Of all the intangible frequencies often called emotions, the toughest of all to define is 'peace'.
Alice began to feel ecstatic! The voices inside his mind grew louder, the moment of clarity seemed clearer than ever.
Wings attached by the side of his arms he took a leap into the lake of fire ahead of him...
Alice was joyous! He felt the universe within him. The infinite wonderland spun harmonically between his eyes.
He had waited so long for this moment to come. He had lived every day of his life in the jungle pretending to be lost into the wild, day dreaming about this final face off with the source of all energy inside him. He was brimming with expectations that he would find the answer.

The oneness of everything factual is what you know, what you perceive, what you are aware of, is all the universe looking at itself. This is the universe, even you are the universe, us and everything we know is all the same thing. 

Familiar faces were welcomed to his wonderland. Red, yellow, green and blue - all colored teddies dancing merrily with him and conferring with him that Music has the same frequency as Peace! He liked their company, he had never been so happy! The law of attraction finally giving its reward like an obedient genie granting wishes to commands placed by his master. It was blissful!
The teddies became brighter, their features were now clearer. Alice welcomed them with a grin on his face. He wanted to assure them that he was ready for the unforeseen journey that laid ahead. Their eyes met.
Alice recalled their face was familiar from what he always saw in the object the monkeys back in the jungle called mirror.


I think a nerve exploded inside my head. The teddies were gone, so was Alice.







PS:
          A child's rhyme stuck in my head.
          It said that life is but a dream.
          I've spent so many years in question,
          to find I've known this all along.

                                                  - Maynard James Keenan.
                                                   ( a.k.a Alice )